is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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