I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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