4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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