allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
