...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
