You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
