I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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