so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
