just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
