I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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