Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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