Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
