i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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