We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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