do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
