think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
