i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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