just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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