omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
