I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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