i'm signing you up for texting rehab
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
