i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize