my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
