Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize