hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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