I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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