While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
how does that bad decision feel?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
