I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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