Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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