we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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