You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have already put on my inside pants.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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