I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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