Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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