i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
