I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
