Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
