let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
