I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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