I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize