I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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