He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
