im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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