I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
