I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
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Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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