the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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