theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
