but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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