brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
