Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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