Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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