Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
