Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
