I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
