He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am available for nakedness
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
