i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
