shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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