I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
