So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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