the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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