Cold hands, warm shart.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
