shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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