if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My ass is underappreciated
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I had to cum in my sink.
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