Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
