you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
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So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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