No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
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Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All I want is dick and wine.
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