You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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