i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
