If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize