in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
