FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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