he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
What a dumb baby whore.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
