Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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